she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
