How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
