There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
