But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
