just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
