We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
