she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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