I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize