I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize