I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
two words...techno handjob
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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