I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
