You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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