Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
