But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
a search helicopter?!
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
