Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
