i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
