Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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