Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
