I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
