All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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