he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
