i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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