Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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