was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
