Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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