I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
