Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
