he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize