what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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