Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
