it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
i think i just lost a toe
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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