It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
