And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
