you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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