If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
