whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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