JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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