shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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