Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize