Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
