I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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