there's paper in my vomit.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
