All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
