Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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