My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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