yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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