ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
