Joe is yelling at the trees again.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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