garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Randomize
