I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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