if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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