he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
