Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
