it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize
