If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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