so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
My liver just had a heart attack.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
