glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
