my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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