There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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