my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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