i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
