Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
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