Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
