You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
