I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
