If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
