the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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