maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
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