You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
