I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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