you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize