how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
