In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
he wants to bone in the snuggie
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
