I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
