How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I could fuck to npr.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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