she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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